When Life Falls Apart, Don’t Forget to Smile

There’s a beautiful Sanskrit phrase, Anityam Asukham Lokam, which means, “The world is impermanent and full of suffering.” I know it sounds jarring to call it a beautiful phrase. However, it’s a reminder that life, in all its richness, is also fraught with challenges. Within this timeless wisdom rests an invitation to a deeper understanding — when life seems to crumble around you, don’t forget to smile.

In the face of adversity, the smile isn’t about ignoring the pain or pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s about embracing the wholeness of life, the good and the bad, with an open heart. The Bhagavad Gita teaches us “Samatvam yoga ucyate” — equanimity is yoga. This is the art of staying balanced amidst the inevitable ups and downs of life. Smiling through the tears isn’t a sign of denial; it’s a sign of resilience, a testament to the inner strength that connects us to the Divine.

The Buddha once said, “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” Pain happens to all of us; it’s part of the human experience. But suffering, the way we respond to that pain, is something we can influence. When we smile, even in difficult times, we’re choosing a response that honors our spirit’s capacity for joy, even in sorrow. We’re saying, “Yes, this hurts, but I am still here, still capable of love, and still capable of joy.”

In the Christian tradition, the Book of James tells us, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” Here, joy isn’t found in the absence of hardship, but in the transformation that hardship can bring. This is echoed in the Jewish teaching of Simcha shel mitzvah — the joy of performing a mitzvah (good deed), even when it’s difficult, is a way to transcend personal suffering and connect with something greater.

The great Persian poet Rumi invites us to “Meet your trials with a smile,” because they are, in his words, “messengers from beyond.” Our challenges are gateways to deeper wisdom, to an expanded sense of self that can hold both the light and the dark.

So how do we cultivate this smile, this sense of joy, when it feels like everything is falling apart? Here are a few practices that can help:

1. Mindful Breathing: Take a moment to breathe deeply, focusing on the breath entering and leaving your body. As you breathe in, imagine you’re breathing in light and peace; as you breathe out, release tension and sorrow. This simple practice can ground you in the present moment and remind you of your inner resilience.
2. Gratitude Journal: Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for. They don’t have to be grand; even a warm cup of tea or a kind word from a friend counts. Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what’s still right in your life.
3. Loving-Kindness Meditation: Spend a few minutes each day sending love and kindness to yourself, then to others. Start with those you love easily, then extend it to those who challenge you. This practice opens your heart and connects you to the universal flow of love.
4. Smiling Practice: Stand in front of a mirror and smile at yourself. It may feel strange at first, but over time, this practice can help you reconnect with your own capacity for joy, even in difficult times. It’s a way to remind yourself that you are still whole, still deserving of love.

Science also backs this up. Research shows that smiling, even when it feels forced, can trigger the release of dopamine and serotonin — neurotransmitters that help to boost your mood. Smiling, then, isn’t just a metaphorical balm; it’s a biological one too.

As you navigate the inevitable storms of life, remember that you have within you a wellspring of strength and joy. The Tao Te Ching teaches, “The wise man is one who knows what he does not know,” and similarly, the wise smile is one that knows it can’t change the storm, but it can change how we weather it.

So when life falls apart, don’t forget to smile — not because everything is perfect, but because you are still here, still standing, still capable of love and laughter. Your smile is a beacon in the dark, a signal to the universe that you are ready to meet life’s challenges with an open heart.

Remember the words of the Dalai Lama: “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” And happiness doesn’t come from a life without problems; it comes from cultivating the ability to smile through them.