Letting Go vs. Ignoring — The Path to Emotional Freedom
We’ve all been there — sitting with emotions so heavy they seem to weigh us down, attachments that pull us in every direction, and aversions that make us run from discomfort. The question is, how do we handle these emotions and attachments? Do we simply ignore them, hoping they’ll dissolve on their own, or is there a deeper process of letting go that sets us free?
In spiritual circles, we often hear advice about “letting go.” But there’s a subtle difference between truly letting go and merely ignoring or suppressing our emotions, attachments, and aversions. This distinction is critical to the path of growth, and it’s something that many spiritual traditions explore in depth.
Ignoring: The Illusion of Detachment
Ignoring our emotions or attachments might seem like a shortcut to peace, but it’s more like sweeping dust under the rug — out of sight, but never really gone.
When we ignore what we feel, it’s usually because those emotions are uncomfortable. Maybe it’s a lingering sadness, anger, or a deep attachment to something we can’t have. We might tell ourselves that ignoring these things will help them fade, but in reality, they tend to fester beneath the surface. Like seeds planted in the dark, ignored emotions often grow into bigger issues down the road.
In the Bhagavad Gita Arjuna, the great warrior, stands on the battlefield, overwhelmed by emotions and attachments. He feels lost and paralyzed, unable to ignore his feelings. But Krishna, his divine guide, doesn’t tell him to push those emotions away. Instead, Krishna invites Arjuna to confront them, understand them, and let go of what’s not serving. Ignoring emotions would have left Arjuna trapped, but by engaging with them consciously, he found freedom.
Similarly, the Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön says, “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” When we ignore our emotions, we also ignore the lessons they bring, leaving them to resurface time and time again until we’re finally ready to face them.
Ignoring our emotions might feel like detachment, but it’s really avoidance. And avoidance doesn’t free us; it binds us tighter. It’s the emotional equivalent of placing a temporary patch over a deep open wound without addressing the root cause. The wound remains, silently waiting for the opportunity to grow and demand attention.
Letting Go: A Conscious Process of Release
Letting go, on the other hand, is an active and conscious process. It requires that we face our emotions and attachments head-on, feel them fully, and then release them with love. This is the essence of spiritual practice — not running from discomfort, but sitting with it, understanding it, and gently letting it dissolve.
In the Bhakti tradition, letting go is often framed as surrender. We surrender our ego, our attachments, and our aversions, not by ignoring them but by offering them up with full awareness. This surrender doesn’t happen in a moment; it’s a process. Ram Dass beautifully said, “The game is not about becoming somebody; it’s about becoming nobody.” This “becoming nobody” is the process of letting go — of releasing the hold our ego has on us through its attachments and aversions.
To truly let go, we must first allow ourselves to feel. If we suppress our sadness, we never really heal. If we push away our desires without understanding them, they keep pulling us back. Letting go begins with radical acceptance — allowing everything to come up without judgment.
There’s a deep teaching in the Bhagavad Gita: “You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction.” This verse teaches the essence of letting go — acting with full noble engagement in the present, without being attached to the outcomes. This is true freedom: releasing our need to control that which is beyond reach.
Imagine your emotions as waves in the ocean. Ignoring them is like standing still in the water, hoping they will pass by without moving you. But letting go is like learning to surf. You ride each wave, feel it fully, and then let it pass. In Bhakti, we offer these waves to the divine universe, trusting that whatever we release will be transformed into love.
The Middle Path: Engaging Without Attachment
One of the beautiful teachings of Bhakti is that we don’t need to reject the world to find peace. Attachments and aversions arise because we live in the world — we’re human, after all. But Bhakti teaches us to engage with life fully while staying rooted in something deeper, beyond the surface of emotions.
The Buddha also offered wisdom on this middle path, saying, “You only lose what you cling to.” Clinging, whether to emotions, outcomes, or desires, binds us in suffering. Letting go doesn’t mean disengaging from life but engaging in it without being attached to controlling how things unfold.
In Bhakti, the path of devotion is about surrendering everything — our love, our pain, our attachments, and our desires — to divinity. This act of surrender doesn’t mean we stop caring or stop feeling; it means we hold everything with an open hand, trusting that the universe is carrying us, even when things don’t go the way we expect.
The Bhagavad Gita reminds us: “One who performs their duty without attachment, surrendering the results to the Divine, is not affected by sin, just as a lotus leaf is untouched by water.” This lotus-like existence is what happens when we practice letting go without ignoring or suppressing.
The Sufi mystic Rumi also captures the heart of this beautifully when he says, “Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?” Letting go means trusting that whatever life brings, it’s all part of the greater flow.
Practices for Letting Go
To practice letting go, we must first develop a sense of awareness. Here are some steps to help you along the way:
- Radical Acceptance
When emotions or attachments arise, don’t push them away. Sit with them, breathe into them, and allow yourself to feel. Journaling or quiet reflection can help in this process. As Rumi said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Our pain is often the gateway to our healing. - Witnessing Without Judgment
Practice becoming a witness to your emotions without labeling them as good or bad. This is easier said than done, but with time, it becomes a powerful tool for emotional freedom. Imagine yourself watching a movie — observe the scenes of your life unfold without getting too wrapped up in the drama. - Offer It Up
In Bhakti, we offer everything to the Divine — our love, our pain, our attachments, our aversions. Try creating a small ritual where you symbolically offer your emotions to something higher. This might be through a prayer, meditation, or simply closing your eyes and visualizing a release. - Return to the Present
Letting go happens in the present moment. When you catch yourself spiraling into past hurts or future anxieties, bring your awareness back to the here and now. Practices like mindfulness, meditation, or even walking in nature can help anchor you. As Ram Dass says, “Be here now.” The present moment is where the magic of letting go unfolds. - Surrender the Outcome
Sometimes we hold on because we fear what will happen if we let go. Surrender the need to control outcomes. Trust that in letting go, something greater is at play. Lao Tzu echoes this when he says, “By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning.”
The path of letting go isn’t about becoming detached in a cold, indifferent way. It’s about softening, opening up, and trusting that what you release will create space for something more beautiful. In Bhakti, we don’t run from the world or our emotions — we embrace them, offer them, and ultimately transcend them through love and surrender.
Remember, letting go is not the same as ignoring. Ignoring binds us; letting go frees us. It’s not about escaping from life but about living it more fully, with grace, love, and compassion.
So next time you find yourself caught in the web of attachments or heavy emotions, don’t push them away. Feel them, love them, and when the time comes, let them go. And as you do, remember to smile — you’re on the path to true freedom.
